Separation
by HeathenVampires
Summary: Modern AU. Prequel to Confusion. Lillian knew falling for Astrid meant hiding and secrecy, and she's never doubted it was worth it, because she'll always have Astrid to go home to... Lillian/Astrid Lilstrid two shot. Warning for twincest.
1. Lillian

**So, a little prequel to Confusion here! Takes place a couple of years before Confusion starts. If you're new and missed the warnings, there be Lilstrid incest.  
**

-HTTYD-

Turning off the oven, Lillian smiled to herself as she laid the tray out to cool. Cooking for Astrid was one of her favourite things to do, because food made her sister so very happy. And there was nothing Lillian loved more than to make Astrid happy.

She glanced up at the clock, giddy with the knowledge her twin would be home in the next half an hour. Most of that time was passed easily enough by cleaning up the ktichen post-cooking, and the last five or so minutes putting the fixings of Astrid's protein shake out ready before Lillian laid across the sofa where she could happily watch the door, waiting.

Lillian was up on her feet before Astrid's key finished turning in the door, and Astrid had barely managed to smile at her before her mouth was otherwise occupied.

"Mmm... missed you too!"

Astrid giggled as she finally closed the door behind her properly. Lillian grinned in return.

"I made dinner... but it's fine to wait if you're not hungry."

She saw Astrid immediately understand the insinuation, helped along by Lillian's hands running up and down over her hips.

"I'm all sweaty."

"When has _that _ever stopped me? You're only gonna get sweaty again."

Eyes sparkling, Astrid conceded her point.

"True."

Lillian squealed slightly as Astrid lowered herself just enough to hike her sister over her shoulder, paying no mind to Lillian's squirming until they were in range of their bed - officially Astrid's bed, but they always shared - and then Lillian was dumped on it. She bounced a bit awkwardly and had to be mindful not to fall off, but then Astrid was helpfully climbing on top of her to prevent Lillian going anywhere.

Astrid was still in her workout gear from running home, which was a pain to try and take off so she got up (and Lillian pouted) to take it off and run a couple of wipes over herself. The feel of cool wipes on her skin made Astrid moan a little, which might have been exaggerated just to make Lillian a little dizzy with want.

It worked.

Tight shorts joined the sports top on the floor, leaving Astrid in only her briefs that were soon discarded too. The feel of powerful muscles under damp skin thrilled Lillian as she ran her hands down her twins back, enjoying the little differences on Astrid just as much as she loved the familiarity of her sisters body, that sameness unique to identical twins. Astrid nuzzled her neck, kissed the hollow of her collarbone and smirked against her skin when Lillian shivered and mewled, still fully dressed under a wholly naked Astrid.

Astrid set about changing that quickly, sucking red marks along the top of her chest as the buttons of her shirt came loose, very fond of leaving treasured little reminders all over Lillian's body. Lillian often returned the favour, bruises left by her teeth littering Astrid's body from neck to thigh.

When they could never say a word to anybody about the way they loved each other, it was nice to be able to see the marks and know it didn't matter, because they would always have that waiting at home for them.

"Take down your hair for me?"

"Only if you do yours."

They'd often do it for each other, but when eager hands itched to explore bare skin, it was quicker to undo their own hair. Lillian happily buried her fingers in Astrid's messy locks, uncaring that there was a lingering dampness of sweat there still, arousal burning hotter when Astrid breathed _"Lils" _against her lips. _Nobody _else called her that. Not friends, not family, nobody but Astrid. That little nickname was theirs, and she hated the sound of it on any tongue but her sisters.

Lips found her breast as fingers brushed her inner thigh, legs parting willingly for Astrid to kneel between. Her body responded so much more intensely to Astrid than anyone else she'd dated - a mutual agreement between the two that it was good for them to at least _try_ that, but nothing serious ever came of it - and even the spots where Astrid's hair brushed against her chest made Lillian tingle. A thumb pressing in firm circles over her clit as a hot mouth sucked her nipple was enough to have Lillian writhing and moaning, hands fisting in Astrid's hair again.

"You're so hot Lils, how do I let you out of the house?"

Her only answer was a breathless giggle, but Astrid didn't seem to need more before she was moving, mouth back on her sisters and the strong, tight muscle of Astrid's thigh pressed against Lillian in ways that made her whimper. She moved her own leg until she could feel Astrid's slick wetness there, letting herself be lost to that blurry, blistering heat, grinding and pushing, nails digging in to soft skin as Astrid panted against her jaw and groped her with abandon. Lillian felt the warmth spread through her, urged along by the spike of pain when Astrid bit down on her shoulder, felt her thighs clamp tight around Astrid's as her sister stiffened in turn.

"You're always the best for 'welcome home' Lils."

Astrid eventually murmured, smiling when Lillian giggled at her.

"You're welcome."

They both needed showers, but Astrid was being too cute as she mellowed post-climax, nuzzling in to Lillian's hold with a sweet little yawn. Sometimes after a long day at work, Astrid needed a nap, and Lillian was happy to oblige as her sisters pillow. They pulled a loose cover up over them so there'd be no shivers from cooling sweat on bare skin, and it took only a minute or two of petting her hair softly before Astrid was fast asleep in her arms. Lillian didn't feel especially tired, but she _was _warm and comfortable and satisfied, so she let herself doze off too.

She woke to Astrid sat up, hair mussed by sleep but expression wide and alert.

"What's wrong?"

"I thought I heard something."

They got up and did a quick sweep, but their home was very much empty save for the twins.

"Huh. Must have imagined it."

"It's fine, we should be up anyway. Dinner?"

Astrid's stomach growled.

"Yes please."

It needed re-heating after earlier... distractions, but it tasted just fine warmed up, and Lillian enjoyed it all the more for sharing it with Astrid. They'd been as close as two could be for several years by then, but Lillian never stopped feeling _so _lucky, _so _loved, _so _happy to be with Astrid.

Astrid wrapped around her like an octopus for bed, snuggles and spooning obviously the _only _way to sleep for them. In an incredibly good mood the next morning, which was mostly due to Astrid rousing her to wakefulness with an eager tongue between her thighs, Lillian made Astrid's favourite chocolate porridge and promised to bake her protein cookies when she got back from college that day.

"You're the best. Love you!"

"Love you too."

Going to college was nice in some ways and sucked in others - Lillian loved learning, loved her classes, _loved _all the math and science she got to get her hands on constantly. But her friends wanted to talk relationships, and Lillian couldn't really join in. Astrid had stopped leaving marks on her neck just so Lillian wouldn't have to deal with nosy pushing for details about hickies when she swore up and down there was no boy or girlfriend in the picture.

If it were just that she were dating a woman, Lillian wouldn't have been afraid to say that; her friends were good people, sexuality wouldn't have mattered to them. But when her lover was also her twin, that was probably going to elicit more of a negative response. Lillian knew falling in love with Astrid meant hiding and secrecy, and it was _worth it. _But it didn't stop that weird sense of isolation when around people who didn't understand that.

Luckily, she always had Astrid to go home to.

-HTTYD-

**Decided to two-part this, part two will be from Astrid's POV.**


	2. Astrid

**Part two, Astrid POV. *prepares rock to hide behind*  
**

-HTTYD-

"Come try this!"

Lillian called out to her, and Astrid dramatically sighed before she got up and walked over to the kitchen.

"Yanno, if you didn't kick me out when you're cooking, you wouldn't have to yell for me."

"And if you didn't set fire to the kitchen at least three times a year, you wouldn't get banned from the kitchen."

Astrid grumbled, but she couldn't help smiling when Lillian pecked a kiss on her lips before lifting the spoon to her mouth. She recognised the taste, glancing over to the side and seeing the confirmation of a box of lasagna sheets.

"Good?"

"Perfect. Now put down the spoon."

Lillian complied, laughing lightly when Astrid grabbed her, silenced by her sister kissing her. Oh, how she loved her twin. Even when she was mean and stopped kissing her too soon, claiming the sauce would be burned if she let Astrid distract her.

"A likely story!"

"Do you want lasagna or not?"

"... I want lasagna."

Damnit.

"Good. Now this is ready, you can chop some vegetables for me so I can get on to assembly."

Once everything was piled high and being thrown in the oven to take aaaaages to cook (but worth it!), Astrid dragged Lillian back to the sofa and snuggled her. Moving in with her was the absolute best thing ever, as they could just _be _within those four walls. If Astrid wanted to stare lovingly at her twin for six hours straight, she could! Lils didn't usually stay still that long, but that wasn't the point.

"You smell nice."

Lillian murmured, burying her face deeper in to Astrid's neck, ignoring her squirms at the slightly ticklish sensation.

"I should hope so, I showered earlier."

Her sister laughed, squeezing Astrid around the middle with the arm that laid there. Astrid turned her head and sniffed Lillian in return, just because.

"Your hair smells good. New conditioner?"

"Yeah. Purple bottle. You can use it if you promise not to forget to close it and let half leak all over the bottom of the shower again."

"One time that happened!"

"Yeah, but that conditioner was discontinued and I had to find a new one."

Sticking her tongue out, Astrid pouted when Lillian got up to go check on the food, but was happy to hear said food was almost done. Finding Lillian with a bowl of cupcake mix on the go when she got up to see why she'd been gone so long was even better.

"The oven will be warm anyway, why not?"

"Hey, not complaining!"

Pleasantly full of tasty food, Astrid put the rest of the cupcakes in the fridge to keep til the next day and joined Lils in their usual lazy evening ritual of TV watching and mocking bad American shows. She braided Lillian's hair and then unbraided it again just to enjoy the feel of it sliding between her fingers like liquid silk. Lillian purred and melted into her when she felt fingers rubbing circles on her scalp, sighing happily and being generally adorable.

They were sweet little moments that happened pretty regularly. And perhaps Astrid took them for granted a little.

"Bed?"

"Mmm. Sounds good."

Lillian yawned softly, barely taking the time to brush her teeth and wash her face before she stripped off and crawled under the covers, waiting expectantly for Astrid to spoon up against her back before falling asleep.

They reluctantly parted for work and college respectively; Astrid had only spent one year in additional education, knowing she wasn't suited to spending all her time behind a desk or poring over books. Although, she had come up with a _very _useful method of helping Lillian study for exams and the like...

Dragging her mind out of the gutter, Astrid focused on making people sweat in ways far less fun than sex. For them, at least. Astrid _loved _working out. Not as much as she loved getting in a naked workout with Lillian, but nobody was going to pay her to do that, sadly.

She returned home to an empty place, but there was a little note on the kitchen table next to her protein shaker, scoop of whey waiting in there for liquid to be added.

_Left this in case your phone died at work and you didn't text me to say you're on your way back. Promised to help Andy study for the Chemistry test next week, be back late. Don't forget there's leftover lasagna and cupcakes. I love you x_

There was even a little heart inked on to the corner of the note, Astrid running her finger over it with a soft smile before she looked up with a frown. The sound of a key in the door confused her - she'd _just _seen the note from Lils saying she'd be late home.

Her stomach twisted uncomfortably when she recognised the clicking of heels on laminate flooring, schooling her face out of the scowl that seemed to rise to the surface whenever _she _was around. They helped cover the rent so Lils could focus on college, because they approved of their quiet, academic child more than the mouthy bisexual who preferred rock climbing to algebra. Astrid wasn't stupid, by any means - she was probably better than Lillian at Anatomy, and if she needed to learn something, she could. Astrid just preferred hands on learning to book learning.

But because they helped out, Astrid and Lillian's parents had a key to their place. And unfortunately, that allowed their mother to drop in at random. Astrid couldn't really remember a time she hadn't clashed with the woman anymore. They'd certainly never been _close. _She bit back a sigh at the disdainful look her mother gave the outfit she had on.

"What _are _you wearing?"

"Running gear. I _just _got back from work."

"That explains the smell. Clean yourself up. I have words for you."

Unsure what her mother had concocted as an excuse to complain in Astrid's general direction this time, she headed off to the bathroom and took a quick shower, pulling on one of Lillian's jumpers for comfort when dressing before she went out to face Mrs Hofferson again.

Astrid's stomach twisted coldly when seeing that her mother had Lillian's little note in her hand.

"Give that back."

"No. This is what I came to speak to you about. I know what you've been doing to your sister, and it stops _now._"

_Oh. Oh fuck. No no no no..._

"I don't know what you're talking about."

They'd been _so _careful! How could she possibly have found out? Lillian's sweet little note was crushed between perfectly manicured fingers, and despite the passing resemblance between Mrs Hofferson and her identical twin daughters, there was none of the warmth and familiarity inside Astrid when she looked at cold eyes and stern features.

"Don't play dumb with me. I saw you!"

"Saw me?"

"In bed with your sister! You were both naked and... _touching._"

Her mother shuddered in disgust, and Astrid did the same for different reasons. _That _had been what she heard the other day, what woke her from her pleasant nap with Lillian?

"We've shared a bed since we were kids, it's no big deal."

"You're not going to talk your way out of this, and I refuse to let you continue to... _infect _your sister with this deviant behaviour of yours. She has the chance to make something of her life, unlike you. It stops _now._"

Astrid crossed her arms, doing her best not to lash out at this evil creature masquerading as a mother.

"Or what?"

"Or I'll have you locked up."

_"__What?"_

Astrid couldn't help blanching slightly.

"You heard me. What you're doing is not only sick and depraved, it's a crime. I'll see Lillian imprisoned before I let you drag her down to your level."

"You think I'm a deviant for liking women, but you are willing to lock Lils up with _only _women?"

The muscle twitching in her mothers cheek had Astrid ready to duck, remembering dodging backhands and the like in her younger years, before Astrid took up fitness and her mother was too much of a coward to pick on somebody stronger than her.

"Don't try to be smart with me" something cold and calculating washed over Mrs Hofferson's face, sending ice down Astrid's spine "but is that what you want for her? Everyone _knowing _what you did to her, while she's locked up? Is your perverted little 'relationship' worth throwing her life away for?"

It was the _lowest_ blow their mother could swing with - forcing Astrid to choose between their relationship and Lillian's life and freedom. Her hands curled into fists at her sides.

"You're bluffing. You wouldn't have her locked up."

"To get her away from _you,_ I would. Oh, I'm sure you have her convinced it's fine, that you're 'in love' or whatever you pretend it to be, but you have never been right and I refuse to let you drag her down with you. A little distance to see the error of it all, and she could continue on. Or you can listen to me for _once_ in your miserable life, and do as I say."

Mrs Hofferson left ten minutes later, and Astrid just buckled where she stood, leant against the wall with her knees pulled up against her chest. How had everything reached a point of falling apart so damned _fast? _Just because they'd fallen asleep in the afternoon, warm and comfortably post-coital. _Once. _It felt like such a rookie mistake after years of getting away with their relationship.

What was she supposed to do now? Breaking things off with Lillian sounded like the most agonising thing she could possibly do, and Astrid wasn't even sure she _could _do it. How could she possibly convince Lils she didn't want to be with her anymore?

But what choice did she have? It seemed their mother really was willing to ruin Lillian's life if it meant making Astrid miserable. Because Astrid didn't give a _damn _what happened to her, but Lils? She couldn't bear the thought of her twin having to go through being _outed,_ judged, treated like a sick freak for loving Astrid.

She cried. She cried until she felt numb, a gnawing sense of nausea low in the pit of her stomach. Eventually getting up off the ground, Astrid wiped her blotchy, overly warm face down and saw the screwed up bit of paper that had fallen from her mothers hand, saw the scoop of whey protein still sitting in the bottom of the shaker bottle. She snatched up the note, carefully pulling it open and tracing the little heart in the corner again.

If she told Lillian what had happened, she knew Lils would tell their mother to stick it up her ass. Which was undoubtedly tempting, but that wouldn't prevent the threat being followed through.

Astrid washed her face and stared at her reflection, which turned out to be a very bad idea; it was like looking at Lillian, and the red rims and hollow look in her eyes seemed like a warning of what was to come, of what she'd have to see later.

She was no closer to any sort of decision when Lillian got home, calling out for Astrid.

Whatever she was doing, Astrid wasn't doing it tonight. She practically leapt on her sister, burying her face in the front of Lillian's shirt and breathing in her scent. Her heart skittered in her chest, melting when arms wrapped around her.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?"

Astrid shook her head.

"Don't wanna talk about it."

Something in her tone must have convinced Lillian to accept it for the moment, lugging Astrid over to the nearest suitable surface and they laid on the sofa, Astrid wishing she could just crawl inside Lillian's skin where they could never be separated again.

Astrid only realised she'd fallen asleep like that when Lillian was shaking her awake, concern all over her face and a murmured apology that she needed the loo.

"We should go to bed anyway if you're falling asleep."

When they made it to bed, Astrid felt wide awake. Lils had questions, she could see, but her sister gave in to Astrid's frantic, desperate kisses, pressed her hands and mouth against Astrid's body in all the right places. In the future, Astrid wished she'd taken her time that night, savoured their final intimate embraces and gave herself the time to commit every second to memory. But the urgency was blurred with need, need for Lillian as much as a need to be distracted from what was coming.

It was as intense as it ever was with her, but it wasn't enough to last her forever. Not that it kept Astrid from trying, and they only stopped when Lillian was so wrung out and exhausted she could barely stay awake. Astrid clung to her even as she slept, Lillian's sweat drying on her skin, worn out enough not to notice Astrid silently crying behind her.

Lils was going to hate her.

Maybe that was for the best. Might make it easier...

Who was Astrid kidding? _Nothing _was going to make it easier.

She got up early, showered and dressed before Lils was even fully awake, using the excuse of going for a run to explain it to her suspicious sister. Astrid jogged until she was out of sight of their home, then slowed to a walk and tried to straighten her head out just a little. She'd thought herself in circles most of the night, slept very little and eventually just lay there listening to Lillian breathing, watching her sweet little twitches, hearing those funny little noises she made.

All things she wasn't going to get to experience again. Astrid tried to choose her words on the walk home, supposing in a way it was good Lils didn't know their mother had come by yesterday, as she'd definitely put two and two together if she did. Pacing back and forth by the door, Lillian looked relieved to see Astrid, though her beautiful face crumpled sadly at the mood she could read Astrid was in.

Astrid closed the door behind her, and when Lillian crossed the room and reached to comfort her, Astrid grit her teeth and turned away.

"Astrid?"

Certain she could not hate herself more if she tried, Astrid took a deep breath.

"We need to talk."

-HTTYD-

**I had more for the ending, with scenes like Astrid sitting in the hallway listening to Lillian crying, that little note clutched in her hand... but I couldn't get it to all flow right. Curse thee brain.**


End file.
